Calling All Pirates

Those who are so-inclined may now take a Twilight Cruise. No, not a cruise into the twilight - that's what Eskimos give their grandparents - but a trip on a cruise ship with actors from the movie Twilight. Yes, they actually hired a couple cast members to participate in this. Not any of the big ones like Robert Pattinson and Kristen Stewart, but still.

The website for this endeavor promises a Q&A with the actors, autographs, a movie viewing, trivia contests...where the fuck do I sign up? There's nothing I would love more than to spend several days getting seasick with some of the most pathetic specimens of humanity in the known universe. If just being on the boat doesn't make you puke, the overwhelming stench of virginal desperation will.